Going through a breakup is something that we all experience at some point in our lives, and it can be incredibly difficult to deal with. Whilst some people sit in bed eating ice cream and watching chick flicks for days, others feel lost, and just don’t know how to adjust to their new lives without their partners. And of course, when somebody has been a huge part of your life, it is hard to readjust. However, you can do it, and it’s just a part of growing as a person! Here’s how.
Breaking up with your significant other can leave you with a lot of time on your hands. Though it can initially be hard to know what to do with this, keeping busy is important if you don’t want to find yourself falling into an emotional black hole. Staying in bed and crying is – although admittedly acceptable for a few days – totally not good for your mental health in the short or long term.
Speak to loved ones
When you break up with your partner, you need to feel the support of those that you love more than ever. Not only does this help you to vent about how you’re feeling, but it also reminds you that there is so much love around you. Sure, you may be going through the difficult stages of a relationship breakdown, but there is a lot to celebrate in your friendships and family relationships, so don’t forget this!
Sometimes, going through a breakup leads people down the path of self-sabotage. Maybe you keep going to bars and having more than one too many, or maybe you’re not eating properly and you’re letting your sleeping pattern go out of the window. However, no matter what has happened, you deserve to be healthy and happy, so try to avoid these self-sabotaging behaviors if you can.
Think about therapy
If you feel like you’ve gone through a lot during your relationship and your breakup, then therapy may be a good option to consider. From options like a narcissistic abuse recovery program to general talking therapy, there are many things that can benefit you and help you to make it through this time. Learning to talk about how you feel is often the first step that you take towards healing!
Don’t glorify the relationship
In the throes of a breakup, you’re more likely to think about the good traits that your partner had, and the fun times that you had together. Because you miss them and you’re grieving, you rarely remember the difficult times, and the arguments, and the reasons why you broke up. Sure, you don’t need to focus solely on this, but you do need to be realistic about the relationship in order to deal with it.
Remember who you are
Though breakups are, of course, painful and difficult, they are an essential part of character building. If we never experienced them, we’d never have the time alone to work out who we really are when we’re not constantly in the company of somebody else. Use this time to remember who you are, and who you want to be. This is your opportunity to define your own life, and your own happiness.
Another form of self-sabotage, rebounding may provide a temporary release but rarely helps you in the long-run. Going headfirst into another relationship will keep you occupied and lessen the pain that you’re feeling, but it won’t give you the time that you really need to heal following your breakup. Although it’s your decision when you go back into the world of dating, be cautious about doing so just because you’re rebounding.
Forget ideas of closure
In the emotional stages of a relationship breakdown, you can feel as though you need some form of ‘closure’. You want to know why you guys didn’t work out, and perhaps you want to meet your ex so that you can say those things that you think will give you closure. However, this rarely works out, and is probably just an underlying desire to fix the relationship. You don’t necessarily need closure with them, but rather with yourself.
Stop stalking their social media
Social media is always the worst thing during these situations, and you can make yourself feel awful by always checking up on your exes pages. Unfriend or block them, even if this feels like a painful thing to do. If not, you’ll just end up torturing yourself looking at what they’re doing, and it will be incredibly hard for you to move on from the relationship. Sometimes, it’s just better not to know what they’re doing at all.
Make a new routine
A huge part of post-breakup life is rebuilding your routine in a way that makes life satisfying and positive for you. Think about how you can spend your time, and what you really want to do. Perhaps you’d like to visit a restaurant alone (with a book or journal) or with friends, or maybe you want to pick up a new hobby. Perhaps there are some things that you didn’t do whilst in a relationship that you’d love to do now? Do them!
Don’t be hard on yourself
Remember that what you’re experiencing now is something that everybody goes through. If you’ve made a mistake, remember that everybody makes mistakes, and this is a part of learning and growing as a person. If you haven’t, remember that your ex could be the one who is in that position. As imperfect human beings, we don’t always get it right, but fate has a funny way of ensuring that we end up where we need to be!
If you’re experiencing a breakup, remember that there are many ways to get back on that track towards being a happier, healthier you. Sure, you can stay in bed eating ice cream for a while, and we’ll totally let you get away with that one. However, you then have to rebuild your life, and you’ll be so much happier for it. Good luck!