The thing with relationships is that we always somehow get surprised when they bring some challenges up on the surface. When we start a new relationship, whether we met someone IRL or on best dating sites 2020, we are completely mesmerized by the wonder of being in love. We enjoy having a good time, and so on, that we forget that we are not living by the movie script and that it is inevitable to run into some difficulties in a relationship. Therefore, when this happens, we start thinking that the problems are signs of relationship habits that are toxic, and it is better to get out of it sooner rather than later.
But is everything the sign of a toxic relationship, or some relationship habits show that we are in a healthy connection, even if we are maybe not super happy about them?! Many couples think that it is quite a challenge to find a way to resolve conflicts. One partner may have ways to deal with conflicts in a manner that is annoying for another one. But this doesn’t mean that it is bad for a relationship – it can be quite the opposite. There is a big difference between toxic and those habits that are maybe messy or annoying but do constitute a healthy behavior in a relationship. We know that this topic is confusing for many of you, as it is for us as well, so we decided to research a bit and talk with experts to understand what are mindful relationship habits and how to break unhealthy relationship habits.
Healthy Relationship Habits
Spending Time Apart
When we are in a relationship, we often have this urge to spend every free moment with a person we love. That is one of the cute relationship habits for sure, but you should keep in mind that it is as important to spend time apart as it is to spend it together. Undoubtedly, you value your romantic relationship, but your friendships are not any less valuable. If you don’t have separate lives, you will start to lose yourself after some time, which can lead to problems in a relationship. Even if you don’t have tons of friends to hang out with, we are sure that there are plenty of things that you enjoy doing without your partner. Make sure that you keep all of your hobbies and interests regardless of whether she or he enjoys them as well.
No one thinks of complaining as one of the funny relationship habits. On the contrary, many people find complaining by their partners quite annoying. Many also think that it is toxic if one or both partners complain all the time. But, it is necessary to know that even if it can be, it is not always and necessarily toxic. Certainly, it is unpleasant, but when a partner is complaining, it is her or his way of expressing what is important to them Complaints are not the same as criticism because when we criticize people, it is more directed at their character. When we complain, we are pointing out that some things don’t make us happy, but we know they can be changed.
Not Answering the Texts Immediately
In this era of technology, we became dependent on our gadgets, and we can’t imagine life without them. In the past, when we didn’t have smartphones and all the apps such as WhatsApp, Messenger, etc., it was perfectly normal that we are not always available to answer texts or calls immediately. But, now it seems that there are no boundaries anymore and that everyone needs to be available 24/7. Well, you don’t have to be! One of the good independent relationship habits is not to be always at the disposal of your partner. It is necessary to keep your needs first and be able to ignore the texts and calls of your partner if you are not in the mood or you don’t have time to talk.
Well, no one enjoys hearing criticism! But it doesn’t mean that if your partner is sometimes critical towards you that they have toxic relationship habits. Undoubtedly, if you are with someone critical of everything you do, it is a red flag. But some constructive criticism doesn’t hurt, and it is not something to be considered as one of those things where you have to figure out how to break bad relationship habits. Of course, constructive criticism needs to come from a place of love and empathy so your partner can realize that it doesn’t mean that you think they are bad, but that their decisions or actions can have negative consequences.
The main reason why we end up in a toxic relationship is that one of the partners is violent. However, there is another thing that can lead to toxic relationship habits, and that is lack of communication. For having a healthy, balanced relationship, you must talk about everything with your partner. Sometimes you might feel that things don’t have a solution. However, it is fundamental to know that there is no mountain high enough to stop you from arriving where you want to be if your relationship is based on mutual respect, appreciation, understanding, and, of course, love. Additionally, if you feel stuck, you can always ask for professional help. What do you do to maintain a healthy relationship?
Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.